"Beers, Steers, and Queers"

Well, the New Years trip to Huntsville fell by the wayside. I did keep my word about not kissing anyone in Birmingham. Since, for personal reasons, I chose not to attend the circle of friends party I was left to wander the Five Points South District alone. First stop, Sakura's for some spicy tuna roll. My mouth is still burning. Washed it down with PBR in a can and that set the standard for the night. Then off to the Plaza where I lost the button to my jeans in the bathroom. Anyone who has ever used the facilities at the Plaza knows there was nothing in this world that would convince me to pick that button up off that nasty floor. So, for the rest of night I walked around with my pants unbuttoned like a ready slut. More PBR in a can and a game of pool. I think I am the only person ever to have lost a game of pool to herself. Scratched on the 8 ball. I got bored so I went upstairs to the Grill. Puddin Pie served me a woodchuck and I saw The Mexican so I went over for a chat. His band was playing and "Oh sure, I'll stay to hear you guys." ( I'm not a fan.) I sat at the bar and took pictures of Puddin Pie's newly shaved head, killed the beer and left. It was now about 9:45 and for the past hour Tori and Doo Doo Brown had been blowing up my cell with cat calls like drunken sailors "Come on over here baby!" I was determined not to go to the party. Walked back down to the Plaza for more PBR and pool. NHP called and I convinced him to meet me at Bailey's Irish Pub for the countdown. Gave the doorman a sweet little goodbye kiss . (Doesn't count as breaking my word-it wasn't midnight.) And off to Bailey's for some dirty hippie funk music. The Irish pub was packed like cattle in a slaughter house. Slutty women and frat boys as far as the eye could see. What is the deal with frat boys doing the chicken walk? We missed the big countdown. Not to say we didn't count down-at five after. I guess the bartenders thought we were too drunk to notice, and for the most part they were right. No kiss for NHP at midnight. (He's a germ freak and since the Christmas party he has been hating on me like nobody's business.) OK, so I gave in and stopped by The Party on my way home from Southside. BIG MISTAKE! Some old guy insulted my pink converse and gave me $20 to "get some new shoes." I told him I wasn't his fucking whore and then I kept the money. Fuck him! Later I was arguing with Doo Doo Brown and told him to kiss my ass. Next thing I knew, he was face first in my ass and I felt teeth on both cheeks. I was not happy. He kept up his aggressive behavior until I just left without saying goodbye to anyone. I should have just stayed home.