The Oracle

I cannot believe I have written this much without having made mention of my friend MK. I met her while working at Bellsouth and though she is about 25 yrs my senior, we have become great friends.

I made mention last post that I feel a nervous breakdown coming on. I have come to a point in my life, a crossroad if you will that has left me dumbfounded. I know, I know-it doesn't take much.

Anyway here's the what-I have no idea what to do with my life. That is, I have plenty of things I would like to do but, every path I take seems to lead me further and further away from my goals. I just spent the past 2 yrs in a relationship that did not go where I thought it was headed. Before that, a year wasted in the same manner on a different man. And before that, a divorce that was predicted by (seemingly) everyone but me. It has been my decision to end each of these relationships because they weren't what I wanted my life to be.

Every time I get down about my life, MK always cheers me up by saying "Look at where you are and compare it to where you've been." And she's right, I would never ask to go back to any age I've already been. I wouldn't gamble by changing any decision I've made, because I know that things could have been worse. But what's killing me is the suspense of "What Next."

Song of the day: Float On by Modest Mouse