Schooled... By a geisha.

If you were schooled by me at the bar last Saturday night, these are the lessons you might have learned:(updated Jun 9)

1. Putting my cell phone down the front of your pants is not a good way to hit on me.
2. If you would like everyone at the bar to see what you are packing, go ahead and put my cell phone down the front of your pants. Because with a quickness I will yank your drawers down to your ankles. Childish but effective two fold. I get my phone back AND no one else will attempt to take my cell phone.
3. After you have seen me finish two alcoholic beverages, do not bother complaining about anything I do, because I no longer give a fuck. Including but not limited to: spilling my drink on you an/or making you spill yours.
4. HD will stay out later than he had intended if you ask him nicely.
5. Liesl is damn good at pornographic matching games.
6. The Goodsnake will show you her panties if you ask her nicely.
7. I fall a lot when I am sober and it only gets worse when I drink. Do not expect me to get embarrassed by that.
8. Derek is the definition of an emo man.
9. Ipourbooze will come out when he gets good and damn ready to.
10. The doorman at the Plaza is no longer friendly after he sees you flirting with other guys. (He yelled at me twice.)
11. Zach does not seem to mind having his pants yanked down in public.

And that is all I have to say about that.