Big Girls Don't Cry.

Ordinarily I will go to great lengths to keep from crying in front of anyone. I once bit a hole through the back side of my lip just to keep from crying in front of an ex-boyfriend flaunting his new tramp. Movies do not count. Anyone who did not cry after watching Requiem for a Dream needs therapy. Seriously. Anyway. I am talking about crying when nobody wants to hear that shit. Like during an argument. Once the first tear falls, you have lost. You might as well give up the cause. Second worst time to cry is at work. It is hard enough to get through the day during crunch time without having to stop what you are doing and console a co-worker. I can thank my early childhood bullies for giving me incentive to be able to control when and where I cry. Unfortunately, as I grow older I find it is increasingly harder and harder to hold back. First thing this morning we had a meeting at work. They announced that Shortcake had been let go Friday afternoon and that a replacement had already been hired. Shortcake has been one of my best work friends since MK. She even invited me to her 40th birthday dinner party a few weeks ago. Usually I do not socialize with work friends, but I went and had a great time. And now she's gone. I am sure I will see her around but it will not be the same. I will miss getting to talk to her every day about men and she was teaching me Spanish insults. So yea crying- when I first heard the news I was in shock. By lunch I was a basket case. I knocked a large framed picture over which makes a sound like gunfire. I could not even stop to pick it up I took off for the bathroom and barely got the stall door closed before the cascade of tears fell. Then I felt guilty for crying. After all, I still have my job, and Shortcake is talented enough to start her own business if she wanted. So I choked the tears back and went on with my day. No one was the wiser.